Trying to commit to GitHub right now is the ultimate The Dog Ate My Homework, Work Edition.

Got my Sleeper. Never going to Mars ever again.

My niece is learning to code and listens to Pink Floyd. The kids are alright.

I’m so good at Mastodon, I just DM’d myself instead of a friend.

Hey Mastopals, hit me with your suggestions for people to interview on!

I thought I’d had some weird conversations before I was a parent, but my god.

On the one hand, I had to pick up the kiddo from daycare because of suspected hand, foot and mouth disease.

On the other, he ran over and emphatically hugged me and said "Daddy, I love you," so.

Shoutout to the lady with the plugs and the impressive mullet eating a massive fancy burger at 9 am.

(reads an interview with René Redzepi, sees "Legos," flips a Danish table.)

Mentions sexual assault Show more

Four people just got on the tram, all wearing AirPods. I think you’re on to something, Apple.

Shoutout to the old guy on the tram with the greasy ponytail, wearing head to toe white, a gold chain wrapped around his fist, Gucci bag at his feet.

Robot vacuum: "Going back to the dock."

(watches it plow into the garbage bin, spin around slowly, smash into walls, frantically drive around the room for 10 minutes)

Robot vacuum: "Helppppp meeeeee."

For some reason the kid says "helmet" like a cliché French person, dropping the "h," and it's the best thing ever.

Fuck me, laptops are expensive here.

“I’m a big boy,” says Sam to passing strangers.

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We eat bandwidth for breakfast.